Through a Dark Mind
by Little Dark Bird
Summary: Raven pov poems--please read and review! I think they are worth reading... these are my first poems, so enjoy and don't be too harsh!--NEW POEMS ADDED AS OF NOV. 11, 2004!
1. Darkness Approaches

"Darkness Approaches"

I shut my eyes,

Commanding myself to turn

From the thoughts that haunted

Me...but they went on...

His face, his hands...the

Whole thing played in my

Memory...

Over and over, torturing me...

I could not escape.

Though I had left him,

Left the whole scene,

I could not get away...

I recoiled into a place of

Darkness...not wanting to

Go on and face my ruined

Life...

I was imprisoned...

Imprisoned in my own mind...

"A Dark Light"

She came in a dark rain,

Dripping and sorrowful.

Her eyes pleaded for help, but

Her lips said nothing...

She looked lost, rejected,

Like she had no one in the world

To turn to. I felt like I was

Looking at myself when I was

Younger...but she wasn't me...

...and there she was.

Only, she looked different.

Instead of the lost, rejected eyes,

I saw hardness, coldness, and Hate.

Hate burning like a hot coal...

Hate for someone who had

Deeply hurt her...

The same Hate

I had...

Not so long ago...

"What there Once was will Never Be"

Sitting in my world so black

I close my eyes, remembering back

In this vision I see you and me

But what there once was will never be

I looked into your eyes to see

The warmth of friendship always there

But what I saw did not comfort me

I felt a stab in my heart

As you walked away

I closed my eyes, suppressed my tears

For crying had become on of my worst fears

In my mind I can see

What there once was will never be

I walked away confused and hurt

You had looked at me like I was dirt

My heart was crushed; it

Broke and bled

I was among the

Living dead

I realized then my heart I must train

To feel no sorrow, feel no pain

Emotions felt for any friend

Can only bring a hurtful end

For if one thing I could clearly see

What there once was will never be

Now I open my eyes in my dark abyss

And I certainly know this:

I like the dark, the solitude,

The cold,

And I laugh out loud and strong

And bold

My heart is hard, icy, and thin

No one at all is allowed within

I care naught for you now

It doesn't matter to me

That what there once was

Will never

Be.

"Drowning in Dark Despair"

The black, cold wind

Swirling around me

Not again, don't take me there

To the land in my mind

Of Dark Despair

My eyes, they glow

My emotions flow

Unbridled, uncontrolled

Certain to kill me this time

Emotions that came from

My own crime

They tell me no,

It isn't so

I did all I could do

But if that's really true,

Then why am I lost without a clue?

Why do I keep returning there?

To the land in my mind

Of Dark Despair?

No one can reach me here

No one can see each tear

That as it falls upon the

Barren ground

Projects dark memories

Swirling 'round

I scream, I call,

But no one's there

I am drowning

In

Dark

Despair

"Their Worst Nightmare"

Walking down the darkened hall

-no! not there!

I try to stall

I concentrate to clear my mind

Afraid of what they might find

They round the corner

No! Go back!  
I silently call to the

Unsuspecting pack

I knew they'd come;

My powers let me know

And now my cursed powers

Are about to show

A wind blows hard,

My cloak swirls 'round

No! I beg, though I

Make no sound

The pack of girls

Scream with fear

Please! I beg, not now, not here!

Against my will, my unbridled

Powers

Make real their worst fears

That fall on them in

Showers

My eyes glow, I cannot control

Finally I stop, the girls, they

Flee

Casting hatred back at me

I am alone

In all my pain

Until it starts

All over

Again.

"Raven"

I wish I could cry,

Fall down on my knees

Give pain away

Share with someone my needs

But I cannot let them see

Until I find out if

There's a light in me

I'm only a girl

In a dark blue cloak

Grasping for

But never finding hope

Looking for the good in me...

But that's just something I cannot see

Sometimes I sit alone

In my room

Contemplating about my doom

My doom to be forever separate

From all those I love

I get so desperate

To find a way to lie

About a home I'll never see

To find a way to be who

I want to be

But I cannot show emotion of any kind

For fear of unleashing the deadly powers

Of my mind

A prisoner I am kept

For freedom, all alone I've wept

But I will never be set free

Until I find a light in me...

"Freedom Carries Sacrifice"

They say to spread your wings

That growing up contains wonderful things

But they do not mention the pain

All they talk about is what you gain

To get out into the world

On your own

To be ripped from the place

Where you were sown

You cannot turn to your mother any more

No matter how much pain you endure

Secrets kept and wounds unattended

Your naivety and innocence has ended

When you reach your teenage year

They say "You have your freedom, dear!"

What you once knew is taken and replaced with fear

But "freedom" is all you hear

You learn not to trust

Your friends are filled with drugs and lust

You try to run to your family tree

But you cannot tell them because you're "free"

You realize now that you cannot tell

You don't want to drag them into your hell

You hide the wound, cover the scar

And soon they don't know who you are

They think they know, but they cannot see

Because you've learned what it means to be free

Remember this; there is a vice

Freedom carries sacrifice.

"Forget About Me"

When I am near him

I feel my emotions rise

I clear my mind

And close my eyes

The chances of emotions escaping

Are usually slim

But they rise when I'm near him

They struggle fiercely to be free

Whenever I find those green eyes

Looking at me

I remind myself

I must stay grim

Emotions of any kind

Can upset the balance of my mind

If that balance were to be broken

If my feelings were to be spoken

The world would know its end

And so I must turn from you

My friend

In your eyes I can see the hurt

I must remain hard and curt

I wish that I could tell you how I feel

But I don't know if the world could deal

If I were to let my emotions fly

I fear the world would surely die

I fear rejection in my heart

I fear that I will lose the part

Of you I have in being a friend

Will these fears ever end?

I must let go

Let no emotions show

Because when everything is gone

There's nothing there to fear

When all emotion is void

No one can get near

Is that what I really want?

Do I have a choice?

"No" states the voice

That is reason in my head

"If you show emotion, your friends will be dead"

So I block out the hurt I see

Hold it all inside of me

Until it disappears with all else

Leaving me by myself

Alone and unfeeling I must stay

And turn your loving gestures away

No feelings at all, no matter how slight

It is an eternal fight

Maybe someday I can find how

To let myself love without destruction

But not now;

It would not function

But wait, no,

It can never be

And so, my love, forget about me


	2. A Dark Light

"A Dark Light"

She came in a dark rain,

Dripping and sorrowful.

Her eyes pleaded for help, but

Her lips said nothing...

She looked lost, rejected,

Like she had no one in the world

To turn to. I felt like I was

Looking at myself when I was

Younger...but she wasn't me...

...and there she was.

Only, she looked different.

Instead of the lost, rejected eyes,

I saw hardness, coldness, and Hate.

Hate burning like a hot coal...

Hate for someone who had

Deeply hurt her...

The same Hate

I had...

Not so long ago...


	3. What there Once was will Never Be

"What there Once was will Never Be"

Sitting in my world so black

I close my eyes, remembering back

In this vision I see you and me

But what there once was will never be

I looked into your eyes to see

The warmth of friendship always there

But what I saw did not comfort me

I felt a stab in my heart

As you walked away

I closed my eyes, suppressed my tears

For crying had become on of my worst fears

In my mind I can see

What there once was will never be

I walked away confused and hurt

You had looked at me like I was dirt

My heart was crushed; it

Broke and bled

I was among the

Living dead

I realized then my heart I must train

To feel no sorrow, feel no pain

Emotions felt for any friend

Can only bring a hurtful end

For if one thing I could clearly see

What there once was will never be

Now I open my eyes in my dark abyss

And I certainly know this:

I like the dark, the solitude,

The cold,

And I laugh out loud and strong

And bold

My heart is hard, icy, and thin

No one at all is allowed within

I care naught for you now

It doesn't matter to me

That what there once was

Will never

Be.


	4. Drowning in Dark Despair

"Drowning in Dark Despair"

The black, cold wind

Swirling around me

Not again, don't take me there

To the land in my mind

Of Dark Despair

My eyes, they glow

My emotions flow

Unbridled, uncontrolled

Certain to kill me this time

Emotions that came from

My own crime

They tell me no,

It isn't so

I did all I could do

But if that's really true,

Then why am I lost without a clue?

Why do I keep returning there?

To the land in my mind

Of Dark Despair?

No one can reach me here

No one can see each tear

That as it falls upon the

Barren ground

Projects dark memories

Swirling 'round

I scream, I call,

But no one's there

I am drowning

In

Dark

Despair


	5. Their Worst Nightmare

"Their Worst Nightmare"

Walking down the darkened hall

-no! not there!

I try to stall

I concentrate to clear my mind

Afraid of what they might find

They round the corner

No! Go back!  
I silently call to the

Unsuspecting pack

I knew they'd come;

My powers let me know

And now my cursed powers

Are about to show

A wind blows hard,

My cloak swirls 'round

No! I beg, though I

Make no sound

The pack of girls

Scream with fear

Please! I beg, not now, not here!

Against my will, my unbridled

Powers

Make real their worst fears

That fall on them in

Showers

My eyes glow, I cannot control

Finally I stop, the girls, they

Flee

Casting hatred back at me

I am alone

In all my pain

Until it starts

All over

Again.


	6. Raven

"Raven"

I wish I could cry,

Fall down on my knees

Give pain away

Share with someone my needs

But I cannot let them see

Until I find out if

There's a light in me

I'm only a girl

In a dark blue cloak

Grasping for

But never finding hope

Looking for the good in me...

But that's just something I cannot see

Sometimes I sit alone

In my room

Contemplating about my doom

My doom to be forever separate

From all those I love

I get so desperate

To find a way to lie

About a home I'll never see

To find a way to be who

I want to be

But I cannot show emotion of any kind

For fear of unleashing the deadly powers

Of my mind

A prisoner I am kept

For freedom, all alone I've wept

But I will never be set free

Until I find a light in me...


	7. Freedom Carries Sacrifice

"Freedom Carries Sacrifice"

They say to spread your wings

That growing up contains wonderful things

But they do not mention the pain

All they talk about is what you gain

To get out into the world

On your own

To be ripped from the place

Where you were sown

You cannot turn to your mother any more

No matter how much pain you endure

Secrets kept and wounds unattended

Your naivety and innocence has ended

When you reach your teenage year

They say "You have your freedom, dear!"

What you once knew is taken and replaced with fear

But "freedom" is all you hear

You learn not to trust

Your friends are filled with drugs and lust

You try to run to your family tree

But you cannot tell them because you're "free"

You realize now that you cannot tell

You don't want to drag them into your hell

You hide the wound, cover the scar

And soon they don't know who you are

They think they know, but they cannot see

Because you've learned what it means to be free

Remember this; there is a vice

Freedom carries sacrifice.


	8. Forget About Me

"Forget About Me"

When I am near him

I feel my emotions rise

I clear my mind

And close my eyes

The chances of emotions escaping

Are usually slim

But they rise when I'm near him

They struggle fiercely to be free

Whenever I find those green eyes

Looking at me

I remind myself

I must stay grim

Emotions of any kind

Can upset the balance of my mind

If that balance were to be broken

If my feelings were to be spoken

The world would know its end

And so I must turn from you

My friend

In your eyes I can see the hurt

I must remain hard and curt

I wish that I could tell you how I feel

But I don't know if the world could deal

If I were to let my emotions fly

I fear the world would surely die

I fear rejection in my heart

I fear that I will lose the part

Of you I have in being a friend

Will these fears ever end?

I must let go

Let no emotions show

Because when everything is gone

There's nothing there to fear

When all emotion is void

No one can get near

Is that what I really want?

Do I have a choice?

"No" states the voice

That is reason in my head

"If you show emotion, your friends will be dead"

So I block out the hurt I see

Hold it all inside of me

Until it disappears with all else

Leaving me by myself

Alone and unfeeling I must stay

And turn your loving gestures away

No feelings at all, no matter how slight

It is an eternal fight

Maybe someday I can find how

To let myself love without destruction

But not now;

It would not function

But wait, no,

It can never be

And so, my love, forget about me


	9. Learning to Truly Trust Again

Learning to Truly Trust Again

Betrayed again...

Alone in all my pain

So foolish to trust

That someone understood

So stupid to think that someone could

See the world as I can

So different from every other human

But then you saw me

Mourning my love for him

And touched my hand

Somehow I knew you'd understand

Against my usual suspicious soul

I let myself fall into you

Igniting my heart that had been a cold coal

Can your love really be true?

In your green eyes I see

The pain that I thought belonged only to me

So afraid to trust again

But you convinced me that I can

You took my hand

I knew you loved me then

You pulled me out of my darkness

Reviving my soul with a loving kiss

Giving me the strength to fight

Showing me that someone can love the night

The pain we share together

Will bind us forever

I am alone no more

With you this dark bird can soar


	10. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos or These Words...

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" or These Words I Chant

These words I chant

Keep me sane

These words I chant

They are my bane

These words I chant

Unleash my powers

These words I chant

And my enemy cowers

These words I chant

My father smiles

These words I chant

Can demolish for miles

These words I chant

Separate me from others

These words I chant

And my darkness covers

These words I chant

They are but three

They are slowly taking over me...


End file.
